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This is the guard lizard. Do not make eye contact with the guard lizard. Do not feed the guard lizard. Pretend there is no guard lizard. This is not the guard lizard you are looking for.

Hello! My name is Bren Winter. Welcome to my website. Feel free to have a look around by navigating with the tabs at the top of this page. I have original writing, reviews, fanworks, and a blog.